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My boss keeps eating my lunch! I'm on a serious budget, so I have to take a lunch to work. I would pack it nicely into my little cute plastic containers and place it into the fridge when I arrive at the office. He sees me do this everyday and still, at one o'clock, he walks by me with his fingers in my food. Why he's eating my food? Beats the hell out of me. I can't stand up to him because I don't to lose my job and I can't quick because I need this job. But, gosh, I'm starving. Perhaps I should poison the food.
Or maybe I should look at his medical records. I mean, I guess, it's kind of like poisoning him--to look at his medical records and make note of his allergies. I'm not sure if I'd list theingredients on it. Maybe I'd just put a lot of it in there without any intention of eating it myself. What if we have the same allergies?
I'd pack two lunches.
Yeah. This is starting to come together.
I'll pack two lunches. One to meet his expectations. One to give me some sort of nutrition to allow me to skip the 5-Hour Energy shots. Drink. Whatever.
He's allergic to peanuts. And peppers. I hate Indian food. He loves it.
Im bringing tuna for myself. In a wrinkled brown bag. With someone else's name scrawled on it. In red Sharpie.
So the boss caught onto the two lunches and started eating both of my lunches. So I decided I needed to take this to the next level... Home invasion Clark W. Griswold style! One night after work I followed my boss home, stay at least 3 cars back. Once he pulled in I noted his address so I could come back later. I waited until 2am and drove back over to his house once there I donned my skymask and went up to his porch and I rang the doorbell...
Right before the door opened I ran like HELL! As I was sprinting down the block, I thought to myself "HAHA! I got that bastard good!" But then I decided that pranking was too immature, so instead I was going to make him a cake he would NEVER forget! When I got to my car, parked a block over, I headed right to the grocery store. I picked up everything I would need to make a homemade chocolate cake with a delectable pink frosting. I got home and began making this amazing cake, and then mix my frosting with my secret ingredient. Needless to say I outdid myself with the cake. So the next day, sure enough at 1 o'clock I heard the fridge open and then my boss passed by with MY cake. I got so upset because I could hear him smacking his lips 3 doors down! In about 15 minutes I see my boss sprint past my door in the direction of the men's room. I go to my coworker and ask nonchalantly, "I wonder what got into him?" All the while laughing to myself! He got the Dulcolax treatment!
as i was laughing to myself thinking ive dealth with my boss,he came out of the mens room looking swollen and all..inbetween his short breathing he said,"ÿou" pointing at me, he took a short breath."what"....he continued "did u put...in dat cake!!!!"....he ran back into the mens room...i stood there confused cause i was kinda happy that this was happening and sad at the same time cause if my boss finds out that i put a laxative(dulcolax) in the cake and that i dont even eat cake! im in deep shit, i'll probably loss my job....
i sat at my desk thinking of what to do..maybe i should run out of the office before he comes back out or ...i dont even have any other option